Do you find that people ask you questions that they don’t actually want an honest reply about? Or are you sometimes the one who is asking a question when what you really want is reassurance that you’re doing the right thing, not necessarily their honest answer?
I find that most people play a sort of game with each other. They balance their reply between the real, whole answer and what they think the friend wants to hear. I know that I have in the past been completely stymied by the lack of reply when I’ve asked a whole and real question to which I truthfully wanted an answer.
I’ve asked contractors, “From your point of view as the expert, what are the pros and cons to these options?” Only to get a completely non-answer. No, I meant it, I want your opinion so that I can make an informed decision!
The same is true for relationship questions. If I ask your opinion about my partner, I truly want a reply! Even if I don’t like the reply, I want to know what you think because I value your opinion.
But some people are only asking because they want you to tell them that they’re doing everything perfectly. I’ll tell you right now, if you don’t want a truthful answer, you shouldn’t be asking the question!
Speaking personally, I keep my thoughts to myself until you ask me what I think. Then I answer you with complete honesty. If you don’t want the answer, don’t ask the question!
Honestly, what do you think?